Spirit | Foolish and Stupid

I have this fear I think you all might be able to relate to…it’s called the fear of looking stupid. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? For years and years I’ve done all I can to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Oh of course, accidents happen and I’m sure my face turned red at the time, but with crossed fingers I’ve managed to squeak by rarely finding myself in a humiliating situation I purposefully brought on. This way the damage is minimal, right? But the fear of looking stupid can be far more crippling than I was ever willing to admit…

found via tumblr.

• It prevents an inquisitive person from asking the right questions when they know they don’t have all the answers.
• It shuts the mouths of Christians, too afraid of rejection to share the one true hope of Salvation with a lost and lonely world.  
• It stops the one who’s hurting from looking for someone to help with their pain.
• It deters adults from admitting they’ve done wrong, and hinders relationships from being healed.
• It keeps a shy, pretty girl from letting her eyes meet those of a boy sitting across the room. It keeps that nice looking boy from starting a conversation that might lead to something more.
• It reserves the right to moderate the crazy laughter and memories made by a group of friends out having a good time.
• It keeps the words “I’m sorry”, “I forgive you”, “Tell me what’s wrong”, and “I love you more than anything”, held under lock and key – unable to reach the ears of someone who really needs to know.

Maybe I’m exaggerating, maybe some of these examples seem unrealistic, or maybe I’m not that far off from telling the truth. Whatever the case may be, these thoughts of facing our fears have been floating around in my mind for some time now.

Several months ago, I heard a quote in a film called Serendipity (yes, it’s a chick-flick and it's also really good) which started to unlock some answers for me. “If you want to improve your life, be content to be thought of as foolish and stupid.” Convinced? Neither was I. At first I thought it was the silliest advice I had ever heard. How can life be improved when the outcome isn’t what you had wanted, plus you look ridiculous by the conclusion? I learned my lesson when I found myself in a situation where these words directly applied.

During this semester, I’ve been thrown into some interesting circumstances where keeping my mouth shut vs. speaking up literally made all the difference. So, I took a deep breath and went for it. I stepped out on a ledge and said what was on my mind. I’d like to tell you all it worked out perfectly and I got what I wanted. But I didn’t, and at first I thought I’d lost the game.

Life goes on and looking back I know now that everything was really going according to His plan. Yes, I was embarrassed.  Yes, the pain I felt was real and almost more than I thought I could handle. And yes, my life has improved because of it. By God’s grace, anxiety I had held onto was finally lifted. The guessing and worrying came to an end, because at last I had answers. And given enough time, I’ve found the strength that comes with letting go and trusting God’s best is going to happen.

I still don’t have it all figured out, and I’m not promising life is going to be a bed of roses if you learn to throw yourself out there.  In fact, things might get worse before they get better. But there’s one thing I’ve found to be true which makes all the difference. I don’t regret what I said. I wouldn’t take it back. I only regret having not spoken up sooner.

More often than not, I am sorrier for the things I didn’t do. That’s saying something, because I for one tend to overthink and overanalyze every conversation I’ve had when the day is over. But, often it’s the things I wish I’d said and done that I would go back and do over. So, next time you or I get the chance to speak, I hope we take it. Even if it seems a little foolish and stupid.

“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

(Psalm 118:6)