Soul | Strange and Wonderful

This year, God blessed me with the gift of a beautiful summer. If I was to try and capture these last three months in one word, one word which might somehow describe for you the overwhelming mixture of joy and sadness swelling up in my chest, I would say it has been unexpected.

found via pinterest

Surprised? Me too. But if there’s anything long summer days have taught me, it’s that despite all my thinking and planning ahead, I never saw any of this coming. Because well-organized plans and good intentions couldn’t predict the way everything would continually change in an instant.

And yet, it’s funny sometimes how God allows truth to sneak up on us. Even from unlikely places, and especially when He knows we are going to need something to hold onto…

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Recently, my family and I watched a little-known Irish film called, “Ondine.” While this enigmatic, poetry-like film may not be widely-recognized, one brief moment on screen has stayed with me.  

In the story, the protagonists face repeatedly bleak circumstances. In the first few opening scenes, the presence of continual longing clings to the air, as the characters wait in hopes of a miracle. But even so, the fisherman asks his daughter each morning whether “anything strange or wonderful” has happened. She replies no, and after a while finally inquires as to why her father asks this question. And he tells her, that it’s a wish, or a hope, that something just might…

In spite of everything, he asks her to look for moments

when the unexpected shatters the ordinary.

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I happen to be a creature of habit. I find comfort in routines, I’m continually scribbling down plans in my notebook, and I am often looking to find new ways to stay organized. You might have guessed, I don’t like surprises. But, lately God’s been whispering something, trying to quiet my soul…”it’s going to be unexpected. you may not see it coming before it gets here. but trust me, the unexpected is going to be so much better than your idea of how life should be. mind you, it’s going to be both strange and wonderful.”

It’s kind of like the song by John Mayer: //Pain throws your heart to the ground, love turns the whole thing around, no it won’t all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good…

At times, the joy is overflowing – almost too wonderful to explain, and at other times, the burdens will hit you like a ton of bricks. Funny thing is, the day will often hold both. But whether you are experiencing the strange or wonderful, the important thing to remember is that He is good. And the incredible vastness of His plan is going to be astounding.

So maybe it’s time we gave up on figuring out life and trying to make predictions. I’ve decided to stop worrying about tomorrow, because my trials and blessings are sufficient for today. I may not know what is coming, but I’m eager to find new ways to appreciate the unexpected moments scattered among the ordinary. Because His promise is secure, and good can be found in both the strange and wonderful.

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

(Proverbs 19:21)

Spirit | Foolish and Stupid

I have this fear I think you all might be able to relate to…it’s called the fear of looking stupid. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? For years and years I’ve done all I can to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Oh of course, accidents happen and I’m sure my face turned red at the time, but with crossed fingers I’ve managed to squeak by rarely finding myself in a humiliating situation I purposefully brought on. This way the damage is minimal, right? But the fear of looking stupid can be far more crippling than I was ever willing to admit…

found via tumblr.

• It prevents an inquisitive person from asking the right questions when they know they don’t have all the answers.
• It shuts the mouths of Christians, too afraid of rejection to share the one true hope of Salvation with a lost and lonely world.  
• It stops the one who’s hurting from looking for someone to help with their pain.
• It deters adults from admitting they’ve done wrong, and hinders relationships from being healed.
• It keeps a shy, pretty girl from letting her eyes meet those of a boy sitting across the room. It keeps that nice looking boy from starting a conversation that might lead to something more.
• It reserves the right to moderate the crazy laughter and memories made by a group of friends out having a good time.
• It keeps the words “I’m sorry”, “I forgive you”, “Tell me what’s wrong”, and “I love you more than anything”, held under lock and key – unable to reach the ears of someone who really needs to know.

Maybe I’m exaggerating, maybe some of these examples seem unrealistic, or maybe I’m not that far off from telling the truth. Whatever the case may be, these thoughts of facing our fears have been floating around in my mind for some time now.

Several months ago, I heard a quote in a film called Serendipity (yes, it’s a chick-flick and it's also really good) which started to unlock some answers for me. “If you want to improve your life, be content to be thought of as foolish and stupid.” Convinced? Neither was I. At first I thought it was the silliest advice I had ever heard. How can life be improved when the outcome isn’t what you had wanted, plus you look ridiculous by the conclusion? I learned my lesson when I found myself in a situation where these words directly applied.

During this semester, I’ve been thrown into some interesting circumstances where keeping my mouth shut vs. speaking up literally made all the difference. So, I took a deep breath and went for it. I stepped out on a ledge and said what was on my mind. I’d like to tell you all it worked out perfectly and I got what I wanted. But I didn’t, and at first I thought I’d lost the game.

Life goes on and looking back I know now that everything was really going according to His plan. Yes, I was embarrassed.  Yes, the pain I felt was real and almost more than I thought I could handle. And yes, my life has improved because of it. By God’s grace, anxiety I had held onto was finally lifted. The guessing and worrying came to an end, because at last I had answers. And given enough time, I’ve found the strength that comes with letting go and trusting God’s best is going to happen.

I still don’t have it all figured out, and I’m not promising life is going to be a bed of roses if you learn to throw yourself out there.  In fact, things might get worse before they get better. But there’s one thing I’ve found to be true which makes all the difference. I don’t regret what I said. I wouldn’t take it back. I only regret having not spoken up sooner.

More often than not, I am sorrier for the things I didn’t do. That’s saying something, because I for one tend to overthink and overanalyze every conversation I’ve had when the day is over. But, often it’s the things I wish I’d said and done that I would go back and do over. So, next time you or I get the chance to speak, I hope we take it. Even if it seems a little foolish and stupid.

“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

(Psalm 118:6)

Soul | Think of a Tree

A warm breeze and sun-lit sky remind us that Spring is just around the corner. The cold winter months are all but diminished, and the signs of new growth are starting to emerge. This time of year, almost more than ever, seems to hold the tangible promise of life, hope, and a fresh start. It’s as if the whole earth believes in this moment, they can begin again.  As I sit here anxiously anticipating the fullness of green leaves on the trees, it reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite films…

via tumblr.

Terrence Malick’s “The New World,” is quite possibly one of the most brilliant films I have ever seen. Through the careful eye of a patient director, this film seems to embody everything that is beautiful, enigmatic, and introspective about life and nature. The very soul of the film is poetry. In my mind, Malick is a genius. This film tells the well-loved story of Pocahontas, the Indian princess who will forever be remembered as one who was brave enough to put herself in harm’s way. At a turning point in the story, in the midst of seemingly hopeless circumstances, a kind woman living in Jamestown offers her these words of advice and encouragement:

“A nature like yours can turn trouble into good.

All this sorrow will give you strength,

and point you on a higher way.

Think of a tree, how it grows ‘round its wounds.

If a branch breaks off, it don’t stop, but keeps

reaching towards the light…”

The ability of a tree to continuing growing despite suffering from damage has always amazed me. Instead of allowing the force of the trauma to cut short its lifespan, the tree heals over the wound, and continues on past the scars. These scars become characteristic marks distinguishing the tree from all others around it. Almost as if to say, “See what I have gone through, and look how I was able to withstand.”

One of my dreams in life is to one day visit “The Survivor Tree” in Oklahoma City.¹ This elm tree has grown to become a symbol of resilience and being deeply rooted in faith which sustains. The story is remarkable, how it survived through damage caused by the dropping of a bomb, the force of which caused most branches to be torn off, extensive glass and rubble to be buried in its trunk, and fires from parked cars to blacken all that remained. Yet this tree, though nearly destroyed, continues to thrive for more than 80 years now.

"The Survivor Tree"

Each of us has scars, those we hide within ourselves, and those outwardly visible for all else to see. Damage has been done, both to our bodies and our hearts, and the evidence is left clearly by the marks we can’t avoid. 

But when I think of a tree, I’m reminded of the chance to grow and find a new beginning. With the slow, sweetness of springtime and warm weather, comes the hope that we too may be able to mature and experience new life. Just as the world is reawakened by the touch of the sun, so are we able to be renewed, and to remain whole, if we will only keep our eyes on Christ, who gives life.²

“…And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,

that bringeth forth his fruit in his season;

his leaf also shall not wither;

and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”
(Psalm 1:3)

1. http://www.oklahomacitynationalmemorial.org/secondary.php?section=5&catid=120

2. “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” || John 8:12

Some new changes...

Dear Friends,

Over this past month while I haven’t been writing as often as I should, I have been working on some small changes that I’m excited to share with you now! The blog’s been given a fresh look, and my mind is brimming with thoughts and ideas that I can’t wait to get on paper. Posts have been pretty scarce since I started this blog, but it’s my hope to write more frequently in these upcoming weeks. (After all, it is part of my New Year’s resolutions). I’ve decided to make this a bit more public, and as a result, I will be writing under the pen name of “Coffee Shop Girl.” So, if those of you who know me in person could refrain from using my own name in any comments you leave I would be grateful.

These past few weeks have been full of some interesting trials and blessings, and I’ve been learning a lot. It’s funny how our growth seems to come in spurts, sometimes rushing in all at once. It must be one of those times for me. I’m looking forward to seeing where all these lessons will take me on my journey. Until then, I hope this can be a place of sorting out thoughts and finding encouragement.

found via pinterest. courtesy of tumblr.

If you are reading this, please know that I am grateful. As a writer, it’s a blessing beyond description to think that these words are being read and might somehow hold meaning for you. I pray that my offering, by His grace alone, will bring glory to Him, the Author of my faith.

With love,

the Coffee Shop Girl

p.s. be sure to look around and explore the recent updates! And please feel free to comment on posts and share your ideas. I would love to hear your contributions and know your thoughts...

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Ringing in the New Year

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Exactly one week ago today, January 1st marked the beginning of a new year. 2012 has arrived with all the promises of hope and uncertainty.

During those few precious hours before midnight, we had the chance to relive memories of days that have past, and then watch with eager anticipation as the future appeared before us. Unsure of what lies up ahead, New Year’s has always been a little bittersweet for me, because inside I know there’s no going back. But the coming tomorrow filled with joy and possibility, helps to reassure me of good things in store.

It’s been a tradition for some time now to make a list of New Year’s resolutions. Up until about 3 years ago, I used to laugh at the idea of starting the year out with a list of “empty promises.” But then I came to realize that resolutions are more than just a half-hearted pledge. To be resolute is to be marked by a firm determination, to be bold, and steady.¹ It’s our way of beginning again with a clean slate; a chance to look uncertainty in the face and set out to put our plans, goals, and dreams into motion.

What are some of your resolutions? Do you make resolutions, or do you have some other way you like to start off the year? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

In this year, it is my hope to spend more time doing some of the things I love. As time marches on, I’m beginning to understand more of the saying that, “Life is short.” And with this knowledge, I want to spend less time filling my mind with doubt, worry, and wondering what might have been. Because, I believe we’re meant to embrace the time we’ve been given. After all, who can add a day to their life? ²

Here’s my list of resolutions for 2012:

MIND |                                     SOUL |

          Read more great literature                          Read through the Bible in one year

          Spend more time on my writing                    Faithfully record in my journal

                                                                       Learn to play the piano

BODY |                                     SPIRIT |

          Exercise to increase my strength                 Write letters

          Eat healthier, well balanced meals                Re-explore my artistic side

.   .   .  .  .

The future may appear to be uncertain, but I serve a God who holds time in His hands.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,

“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

1. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resolute

2. Luke 12:22-34 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2012&version=NIV

Soul | Why are we thankful?

found via pinterest. courtesy of tumblr.

Today, my family gathered together to enjoy the bountiful meal my mother had prepared for us. It’s Thanksgiving, and there’s no better time to be with the ones you love, eating lots of really good food. But, sometimes in the midst of all the cooking and activity of preparing for this holiday, I find myself forgetting what exactly we are celebrating. Oh, of course I know it’s a reminder to be thankful for the good things in our life, but what’s the deeper reason behind our thankfulness?

Looking back, the first Thanksgiving was held by the Pilgrims as an expression of gratitude for God’s faithful provision of food and shelter. They had endured a harsh struggle, and were now blessed with a plentiful harvest. President Lincoln would ensure that we kept this tradition by proclaiming a yearly observance which forever marked it on our calendars. When you think about it, the year 1863 – in the middle of the Civil War – seems like a surprising time for our nation to pause and give thanks. The cruel presence of war had touched every household…but the hope of our nation was to restore unity. By offering thanks for what we’d been given, our nation was reminded of how truly blessed it was.

So this is the conclusion I’ve come to. It’s pretty incredible to consider being grateful when you’re in the middle of hardship. But, that is exactly how this holiday started. More than just turkey and stuffing, or small blessings we’ve been counting, it’s a profound reminder of how the Lord has provided a means to sustain us in the midst of our need. No matter how life looks at the moment, on this day we can pause and give thanks, knowing that God in His goodness is caring for us. That is why we can give thanks at all times, in every circumstance we find ourselves facing.

As I gather around the table with the four people I love most in this world, I want to be reminded of the Lord’s provision in my life. When I need Him most, He is always faithful to sustain me. And for this, I am truly thankful.

. . . . . . . .

I hope you all enjoyed a very blessed Thanksgiving!

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise!
Give thanks to Him; bless His name! For the Lord is good;
His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations.”

(Psalm 100:4-5)

Body | Catching up on Zzzz's...

found via pinterest. courtesy of tumblr.

Lately, I’ve been finding myself daydreaming about how beautiful sleep is. My waking thoughts are filled with visions of my head sinking down onto the pillow, being wrapped up in warm blankets, and the softness of steady, slow, breathing…

All this makes me wonder, why is it that I put off going to bed, when even the mere idea of sleep is so inviting?

Throughout the day, I will often think about how tired I am, only to find that when night rolls around I continue to procrastinate about turning off the lights. True, my life can get pretty busy. Being enrolled in college has introduced me to both late-night study sessions, and hanging out with friends until the wee hours. Of course, I wake up in the morning and feel the effects of my choice to stay up past 12:00am, but wasn’t it worth it? After all, think of all the things I’d be missing out on! It seems to me, we’ve bought into the phrase, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man who doesn’t socialize.” (and yes, I did just make that up…)

The truth is my reasons for staying up late tend to revolve around the fact that I don’t accomplish the things I want to during the daylight hours. Here’s how a typical day goes:

• Wake up later than I wanted to; scramble to get ready for the day.
• Make half-hearted attempts at being productive, until I eventually crash during the afternoon
• Realize I really should have gotten something done, and then using my second, smaller-burst of energy, try to make the most of the few hours left in the day.
• Finally, close my eyes to catch a few hours of slumber, before I have to begin again tomorrow…

See a pattern forming here?

My disappointment in how the day went only serves to perpetuate my late night habits. The result is that I wake up almost more tired than the day before, and I allow myself to daydream away the time I have. 

Sleep isn’t just to give our bodies a break, or interrupt our busy schedules. It’s a time for our minds to renew and process the events of the day. It allows our bodies to heal, rejuvenate, ward off illness by boosting our immune system, and increase our energy for what’s up ahead.

A time of rest helps to shift things back in perspective. It’s amazing how much clarity is gained when we sleep on our worries, rather than allow them to consume us. There’s a lot to be said for ending a day, and starting fresh in the morning. Your outlook improves, and that feeling of disappointment and discouragement is no longer the first thing on your mind.  

My friends who have been telling me to get some sleep (see, I was listening…sort of) will be pleased to know that I am now going to purpose to go to bed by 10:30pm and wake up at 6:00am. This will give me about 7 ½ hrs. sleep every night, and plenty of time to get things done during the day. Just like I thought in my daydreams, sleep is a beautiful thing. The only thing that might possibly be better will be waking up from my rest filled with life, energy, and anticipation for the day ahead.

 “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil;

for He gives to His beloved sleep.”

(Psalm 127:2)